by Moriah Marston and The Tibetan
Most of us try to hide our anger. After all, it’s embarrassing to show this rather unspiritual part of ourselves. We struggle to talk ourselves out of it. But it just keeps festering in our guts, summoning us to heed its aggravated churning. No matter how we try to elevate our consciousness and rationalize the conditions that invoke anger, its burning indignation pierces our thoughts and interrupts our harmonious transcendence to drag us down to the bowels of the unconscious where we must confront all denied hurts, assaults, insults, betrayals.
Why are we so afraid of revealing our temper? Society, parents, spiritual teachers admonish us for our ire because anger equals destructiveness, hurtfulness, judgment, selfishness, lack of compassion. Children who feel safe enough to have the freedom to express fury are often punished for tantrums. Taught that we’re not lovable when we’re mad, we associate anger with rejection. So we tuck it away where nobody sees it, assuming it will simply dissolve on its own as we tell ourselves: “I got over that violation. It’s OK – not that important. I can let it go.” But anger, akin to nuclear energy, can’t be buried or destroyed. When repressed, it makes us toxic. Like Mother Earth’s repulsion to nuclear waste, our precious body pays the price. Years of unresolved anger collects in the liver and joints while the gall bladder is choked with all that “galls” us.
Anger won’t dissipate until it has fulfilled its Divine function – to stop transgression and negation of our birthrights and very existence. When we block anger, we cut ourselves off at the knees and inescapably become victims. Loss of anger equals loss of power. Angerless sanctity won’t ensteel our journey through the rugged terrain of our human jungle of colliding beings. How can we keep pace with the evolutionary challenge of survival of the fittest if we’re not allowed to protect our existence with anger’s natural instinct to STOP all negation of self?
Human emotions, brimming with Source’s genius, are teachers. Anger, a formidable Divine Force propelling the natural instinct of self-preservation, must be honored rather than shunned. It clarifies boundaries and conveys information about ourselves and others. Bristling arguments expose our hurts, disappointments, rights, needs previously oblivious to the other person. Expressed annoyance clears the air like a striking thunderstorm on a hot sticky summer afternoon – the atmosphere so dense you can “cut it with a knife.” When we hide our resentments, we’re really hiding ourselves – fearful that we won’t be loved if we admit our true boundaries / needs. Finally when this inauthentic self-representation becomes intolerable, wrathful furies erupt to establish balance and foster the self-advocacy that undoubtedly insures we are loved for who we truly are.
The question is not whether we should be angry, but rather how to master and responsibly channel this Divine Instinct. There’s no point in fighting it when our anger declares that something just isn’t sitting right. Instead we must skillfully direct our outrage rather than secretly stew, by experimenting with focusing just enough of anger’s clarifying energy, not too much or too little.
We all know the devastation caused by people who express their anger with a hurricane force over minor infringements. This overkill usually reflects a conflict about their right to take care of themselves. Destructive, excessive anger expresses the belief that we must destroy the whole situation rather than the violating piece. We don’t need an entire forest fire to eliminate a few diseased trees. Like surgeons we must precisely focus our anger to the particular area of imbalance.
Patterns of self-negation, self-denial or self-repression are the source of extreme rage stemming from an uncertainty about one’s rights. Fearful of being violated, defensive anger is often used to unconsciously drive others away to protect ourselves. Anger is the radar that alerts us to behaviors of self-betrayal. When repressed, its siren’s shrill goes unheeded in the unconscious for years and leaks out in inappropriate ways. People who scream at the top of their lungs to make their point are probably feeling impotent in their fury. They’re not able to go the distance with their anger’s purpose / message and inevitably become rageful at their self-imprisonment. Long-term repressed anger turns into rage – then fury – culminating in crystalized hatred. Unable to fully claim ourselves, the acid of disempowered anger creates disease.
Once we revamp our relationship to our needs / rights, we won’t have to overkill to stop a violation – just simply draw a clear line. Directed, self-responsible anger flows like a cool, clear laser beam that commands respect and establishes self-dominion. Anger, a natural issuance from the psyche, dissipates immediately when fulfilled. If anger festers and eats away at us, we’re still withholding permission to have our existential rights.
Fearful of being too much, we often half-step in expressing whatever riles us, ironically prolonging infuriation because anger can’t dissolve until we’ve completely corrected all trespasses. Because anger’s alarms describe our natural, innate boundaries – the shape of our being – it’s nonnegotiable with our efforts to be OK with what really isn’t OK. Restrained reactions to whatever offends us, buried in practiced compassion, are futile. Sympathy for others doesn’t negate our needs.
Life without anger, the hot flare from our gut that alerts us to our boundaries, is frightening and creates defenseless victims who feel they must submit to all insults without recourse. When we express too little anger we dilute our passion and hide our true colors. The displaced anger of quietly muttering and fuming under our breath, kicking the cat or yelling at other drivers on the road totally misses the direction in which our exasperation must be fired – leaving us even more agitated. We’re often afraid that our anger won’t be taken seriously. If our parents scoffed at our “silly childish” anger we learn to chide ourselves for our furies and are unable to give ample clout to self-advocacy.
All conflicts between who we are / what we need vs. who and what we think we should be / have are filled with anger. When we try to be “good” our anger leaks out unconsciously and puts others on the defensive. Disowned anger can be dangerous. It fosters random, pointless battles / attacks and leads to depression, chronic resentment, martyrdom, bitterness and disconnection from self.
The need to cloak my anger became the source of agonizing migraines. Efforts to override my deservedness in order to be caring and accommodating resulted in one big headache. Fearful of confrontations and being perceived as demanding / ungrateful / unloving, I analyzed every angry impulse to decide whether it was justified, rather than simply trusting its message and following its clues to the area within needing self-advocacy skillfully directed without guilt.
Potent use of the laser-like nuclear energy of anger doesn’t require tyranization, abuse, criticism, judgment or battering. When we are vividly clear in our undeniable representation of self, we can express our anger with authority and sensitivity. Anger used to obtain power only results in disempowerment. Honored anger that alerts us to violation allows us to establish / sustain our human rights – true empowerment.
The Tibetan elaborates:
“Anger, the interface between yes and no, represents the Cosmic No that counteracts any distortion of the Divine Plan. If one’s Divine Rights (encoded in the Divine Plan) are blocked, then anger is a reactive instinct that says YES to everyone’s divinely mandated gift of existence. Anger’s YES to the Divine Plan stops all negation of spiritual essence in form. Complete self-love is the outcome.
“Don’t judge anger as an aberration of one’s Divinity. Misgivings of one’s furies reflect trepidation around power and the instinct to live. Fear of anger retards the students’ ability to consciously take charge of their wrath and evolve it from raw instinct to skillful application. Nonattached, adroitly channeled anger terminates all hurtful situations.
“Mastery of anger involves acceptance of needs through clear self-assessment, the willingness to express awareness of violations and to stop, with a minimum of energy or dramatics, any negation of self and of all earthly beings. Ire dissipates when there’s ample spaciousness for self’s being on all levels. Anger brings the opportunity to work out inner conflicts regarding the relationship between one’s spirituality and human instincts / necessities. To impose a spiritual idealism that describes the enlightened self as angerless, blocks the integration of the crown chakra (spiritual center at top of the head) and 3rd chakra (solar plexus), leaving self disempowered and ungrounded.
“Anger is not meant to be spiteful, vengeful or vicious but rather to right all wrongs. Although the notion of wrong is subjective, anger’s instinct is pure – emanating from an inborn source of knowing that disallows lovelessness. Bring curiosity to your anger. Follow its clues, like a detective, that lead to the bottom of the issues it unveils – illusions about scarcity, separation, abandonment and betrayal projected onto Source’s relationship to self and the planet.
“Source wants self and all of Its beloved humankind to exist in fulfillment, joy, empowerment, clarity and full Spaciousness of Being – everyone’s birthright. Constructive anger, the insurance that ultimately all will arrive at this level of dominion, relentlessly works to prevent self from settling for less than the above gifts of existence. There is no selling short of the soul’s earthly needs – only full commitment to the Divine Right to dwell in this wondrous Universe of Love.”
Moriah Marston, who specializes in phone sessions, is a soul psychologist, soul mentor and couples counselor (21 years of private practice) who includes astrology, dream analysis, and past life integration in her intuitive work as a mid-wife to the soul-alignment process. A channel for Djwhal Khul (pronounced “Ju-Wall Kool”), also known as “The Tibetan”, ascended master known for his teachings transmitted to Alice Bailey, she offers monthly group sessions open to the public and is available for private groups throughout the northeast. 413-625-6754, Shelburne Falls, MA. firstname.lastname@example.org
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